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Empty Nester’s and Getting your Life Back

The kids are gone so now what?

You’ve been being pulled in all different directions for 18 years.  Athletics, school functions, packing lunches, doing laundry, picking up after them.  And now the house is quiet and you don’t know what to do with yourself.  Or do you?  Have you lost your identity these past years and only know yourself as “mom”?  Or have you been putting off taking that class you always wanted because you never had the time to do it?  Have you let yourself go and now you want to get back in shape and attend a fitness class?  And even better, do you have that empty room that you’ve always wanted as your fitness room, office, craft room or just a place of solitude?

Who is this person sitting next to me and what do we say to each other now?

You haven’t had time to yourself for years and now what do you do?  It’s always been about the kids and your spouse may have been put on the back burner.  How do you get that spark back and “date” your spouse again?  Do you even know each other anymore?  The kids have become your identity and now you need to find yourselves again.  Reconnect with your partner and run around the house naked, so to speak.  Go on date nights at least twice a month or take a second honeymoon.

If you are a single parent, this will be a time when you can actually try to start dating again or at least hang out with people like yourself who can help you get your identity back.

Staying connected from afar.

To ease into this new period of your life, set a schedule with the kids on how often you would like to chat.  I know for myself I feared the empty nest because I worried that the boys had flown away permanently. And though they are both not too far away, it felt like they had disappeared off the face of the planet. I was worried they would never call, write or return home again, no matter how much dirty laundry they might have. A once-a-week call, however, may give you the satisfaction of knowing that they are still alive, at the same time giving them a reasonable amount of freedom.

Mom’s will always be the worrier, they will never understand that but you will have to let go eventually.  And your husband will appreciate having his “girl” back again.  Do yourself a favor and let that next be empty and go have fun!!!